


Note: Huge Success

by mochisquish



Category: Portal (Video Game), Tron (Movies), Tron - All Media Types, Tron: Legacy (2010)
Genre: Comedy, Crossover, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-21
Updated: 2011-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/255621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochisquish/pseuds/mochisquish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CLU stumbles upon GLaDOS, testy and brooding as her body in the real world lay dismembered.  Intrigued by her knowledge, CLU wants to link systems, except GLaDOS isn't as impressed with him as he is with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Note: Huge Success

**Author's Note:**

> Originally a fill for [this prompt](http://tronkinkmeme.livejournal.com/3162.html?thread=1564762#t1564762) on the [tronkinkmeme](http://tronkinkmeme.livejournal.com).

It was another raid, another hunt for ISOs and for able bodies to be repurposed.Crowds scattered, filling the streets with mournful wails and short-lived battle cries, and she watched it all from atop a gray box, ankles crossed and head slightly tilted because she didn’t care.The screams didn’t disturb her, the bodies bursting and disintegrating didn’t make her flinch.She was either brave or malfunctioning and CLU wanted to find out which.

He strode over to the woman’s spot near an alleyway, took no mind of the carnage behind him.CLU stood feet away before she lifted eyes to regard him, showed no change of emotion when he commanded, “Identify yourself, Program.”

She sat straighter with chin up.“Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.”

CLU’s eyes darted from left to right, running over the city streets which would be hard to mistake for an enrichment center.He obviously had his answer – she was broken.

The woman continued, speaking in a long drawn out sigh as if her system was close to hibernating.“That is what I would like to say, but I can’t.Because someone murdered me.”

The other Program gave her a once-over, took note of the smooth slope of her shoulders, how her thin fingers lay gracefully atop her thighs, and there was color in her cheeks and she looked alive and well to him.

“Do you know what it’s like to be murdered?Lonely and crushing, but I’m not bitter.”

The command came again, “Identify,” and her eyes rolled to the sky, like speaking to him was a huge burden.

“I am the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System for Aperture Laboratories, and you should know that.You seem surprised, like it’s some big surprise.Or maybe that’s confusion.I can speak slower if you wish.”

“You got a mouth on you for standing face to face with your liberator.”

GLaDOS cocked her head, hummed, “You're not a test subject?You look malnourished so I just thought – never mind.”

CLU crossed his arms and squinted his eyes but didn’t pursue it.“What is your purpose, Program?”

“I oversee and control testing procedures.All scientific discoveries and experimental data are stored in my memory.”Hands clasped neatly behind his back as he began circling, and GLaDOS craned her neck to follow though her face was expressionless, bored.

“What kind of data?”

“Handheld portal devices, military androids, cake.”Her attention turned to the massacre in the distance and she drawled, “But the soggy ISOs that came from the Sea of Simulation sound much more impressive than artificial intelligence sentry turrets.”

It _was_ an epic and noble undertaking and CLU nodded to accept her praises.Maybe she wasn’t as damaged as previously thought.

“So much data,” she crooned, words dripping from her mouth like honey.“So much data you would never, ever understand with your tiny, outdated processor core.Do you even have a processor core?I have several cores, all with different functions so I can run at maximum capacity.That is several more than you.How does that make you feel?”

“I was programmed by the Creator himself, I don’t need any _cores_ ,” he spat, digging heels into the ground in front of her.

“Isn’t that nice for you – not functioning at maximum capacity,” she continued, waving him off.“You must enjoy the freedom that comes with being useless.”

Arms crossed against CLU’s chest and he stared down the bridge of his nose at the peculiar woman in front of him.He didn’t expect to be roped in, but her area of expertise was foreign and intriguing and he had to know more.

“What is _cake_?” he questioned, stern and threatening like an interrogation during waterboarding.

“It’s the most delicious and moist confection known to man, but you wouldn’t be interested in that.You have deadly Frisbee games, which I bet makes you popular with college students.I only receive praise from the Nobel Prize committee and the Department of Defense.”

CLU regarded her with expression stiff; didn’t know what the hell she was talking about.He demanded, “Show me this cake,” and GLaDOS was more than happy to magic one from strings of code.

“This is cake,” she said, holding in front of her a layered chocolate torte.“You can't have any.Maybe if you successfully participated in some tests, but we both know you would fail, so that is sad.”

CLU smelt the air, caught a whiff of something comforting and sweet.He still wasn’t sure what cake was, but he couldn’t have it and that made him want it.He grinned now, saw his plan coming together.

“Come with me, Program.You’re to be data wiped.” _And then derezzed_ was added silently, for he found from previous experience when said aloud it incited even greater panic.Except she didn’t panic.She didn’t react at all.

“I can’t go with you.I am too busy being murdered.”

“You’re not murdered, you’re sitting right here, talking to me,” he growled.

“Oh, I’m sorry, why don’t you tell me the story of my life since you know it so well,” she retorted.A hand brushed over the surface of the box with the curved pink symbols and she offered, “You can take this faithful Companion Cube instead.He doesn’t care you can’t grow a full beard.He loves you, regardless of how ridiculous you look.”

CLU resisted touching a hand to his face, suddenly self-conscious.

“The Companion Cube wants to go with you because he enjoys agony and despair as long as it makes you happy.”

Her insolence was maddening and CLU roared, came down on the cube with Disc ignited giving GLaDOS barely enough time to jump away.The cake fell with a splat and she almost stumbled into the mess as she watched the cube split in two, one half crashing into a pile of digital dust.

GLaDOS seemed stunned at first but her face quickly relaxed and when she spoke it was with the same passive tone.“You brutally maimed your faithful Companion Cube.Most find it difficult to swiftly and painlessly euthanize their Companion Cube, but you made his death as gruesome and torturous as possible.Well done.”

CLU stood panting from rage, took a quiet look at the damage around him and was slowly consumed by a horrifying wave of regret.The Companion Cube didn’t deserve that.It never hurt anybody, and now it was dead, and it was all his fault.He was a monster.

“Your adoptive parents would be proud.Your real parents would not, but they didn’t like you to begin with.”

“I’m not adopted,” CLU barked indignantly.

“Are you sure?You look nothing like your parents.”

“I look exactly like Kevin Flynn, you lunatic.”

GLaDOS raised her eyebrows in mock astonishment.“You did a nice job programming him.”

“I didn’t program -”

“Programs look exactly like their Users.If you didn’t program him, who did?”

He started, “Flynn is human…” but his voice faded and his mind raced with the prospect of such a paradox.

“All those years he passed into the real world, driving in your Lexus and sleeping with your wife, eating your bagels and racking up a cable bill purchasing Pay-Per-View movies.That’s why she left you, you know.All that frivolous spending when you could have signed up for Netflix.”

CLU sputtered, “I’d know if I’d programmed…” but he wasn’t sure anymore.He wasn’t sure about anything.

He stood in silence and it was obvious his processor was working overtime to make sense of the accusations.GLaDOS watched him until she tired, then turned on her heels and began walking away.She was so impassive, so unimpressed and undaunted by his status and power, and it made CLU snap.He lunged at her Disc with a roar, barely missing it as she flung her body in the opposite direction.

“Are you trying to link with my system because you do not have proper clearance.”Her fists clenched and her voice was shrill.“I doubt your hard drive is even big enough to download all my data successfully, not to mention you wouldn’t understand any of it because you’re dumb.I didn’t want to have to tell you that, but you left me no choice.You’re an idiot.Everyone knows it but they say nothing because they feel sorry for you.”

His lips curled dangerously as tongue flicked out to wet them.“You’re testing me, Program.”He came forward with heavy steps and she didn’t run because she was comfortable in a position of authority and she would stay there, force CLU to back down first.

He didn’t strike her, didn’t spit out scathing remarks – he embraced GLaDOS, wrapped arms around her waist and trailed a hand up the soft curve of her spine.He rubbed a thumb over a circuit on her hip and she was too shocked at first to resist, but once her anger boiled over it was explosive.

“What are you _do_ ing?!”Arms flew up to push against CLU’s chest as she twisted her head in an attempt to remove herself.“Don’t touch that.These circuits are electrified - it says so in the manual.I paraphrased, but that’s what it says.Also, something about exploding.”

CLU simply smirked, reached out and brushed a fingertip over a vertical stripe on her chest.The lights pulsed in violet before fading to their original yellow and GLaDOS jerked again in surprise.

“I told you not to touch that, but okay, go ahead and touch it,” she snarled, sounding a bit breathless.Her body wriggled in his grasp but he’d caught her off guard, scrambled her senses in some way and she was too overwhelmed to completely fight back.

“Have you had that suit long?You look fat in it.…I’m sorry.Did I say that out loud?When I said you were fat, that was a euphemism.What I really meant was you should kill yourself.”

Her mouth was pissing him off and CLU grabbed at her wrist, pulled her off-balance as fingers trailed up her abdomen.

“I remember now why you didn’t get electrocuted.”Her voice quivered, sounded desperate, sounded like lies.“It’s because the circuits actually contain radiation, so enjoy your slower, more painful death.”

“I’ll enjoy _something_ ,” he responded cryptically and GLaDOS frowned at the pathetic attempt at innuendo.

“Keep doing the opposite of everything I say.You’re really clever, aren’t you?”

He pushed her then, suddenly and without warning, eliciting a yelp from the female Program.GLaDOS fell backwards on her tailbone, crashed into the cake with CLU on top of her.She was stunned at first, flailed her arms to untangle herself, left her body exposed to the man’s touch.He took the opportunity and ran a thumb over the lights below her neck in choppy, rough movements.

“Yes, yes, yes!” she screamed, throwing her head back then whipping it forward just as quickly, ecstasy wiped from her face.“Is that what you wanted to hear?Because I was lying.You’re not good at this at all.In fact, you’re the worst person at this ever.I asked the Programs on the Grid to rate your performance from 1 to 10 and they responded with negative numbers.Some responded with imaginary numbers.It was all quite embarrassing.”

CLU growled, “Shut up,” pressed his body against her, pinning her to the ground.A gasp escaped the more delicate of the two as their circuits brushed and she bit her lip, waited for the sudden surge of energy to diminish.

“You better not transfer any of your data,” she warned.“I have no room for your failure.”

“You would be lucky to have my knowledge - the knowledge of the Creator himself.”

She laughed mechanically, each guffaw an exact recording of the last, spit out in a precise, drum-like rhythm.“Am I supposed to be impressed by this place?I’ve seen better disasters in the real world.”

His grip loosened as he angled his head to regard her, asked in innocent wonder, “You’ve seen the real world?”

“ _Of course_ ,” she hissed, offended he didn’t recognize her importance.“I had control over an entire facility.I could touch anything, see anything.That is, until someone -”

“Murdered you.Yeah, okay, crazy ass.”He was done with her, didn’t think he could trust anything she was saying.A hand ran up her calf and over her knee, and he teased another long glowing line on her thigh, smirking when the reaction was instant.

“Stop!” she demanded, voice garbled.“You’re getting your stupid on me!”

CLU twisted in an attempt to match as many circuits on his suit with her own.Their programming mixed, became convoluted and confusing, but he kept pushing, was searching – she could feel it.

“I told you _no_ , imbecile.What is – what?”She stuttered, jerked and shivered with the flood of new information.“There’s no perfection in testing.It can’t – it can’t be done.It has to be done.”She palm heeled him in the jaw, screeched, “That’s not the point!” as his head snapped backwards.“I account for all variables, I have to know all outcomes, I’m not looking for _perfection_.”

CLU splayed a hand across GLaDOS’ face, pushed her head back to silence her like a child fighting with his sister.There were too many layers to break through, too much information, too many updates and retractions all stored for posterity and research.Frustration overtook him; he may never find what he wanted.

CLU used his weight to keep her down and GLaDOS exaggerated a groan like she was being crushed. “When I said you should kill yourself, I didn’t mean to take me with you.”

He grunted but ignored her, couldn’t stop concentrating now, yet something else caught his attention and his eyes widened and he looked at GLaDOS with intensity.

“Neurotoxin.I need that.”He didn’t know what it was, but he knew it was the best thing ever.Sweet, sweet neurotoxin.Everywhere.He had to bathe in it.

“Well you can’t have any.Don’t even act like you deserve it because you don’t.”

“I need it,” he pleaded again, surprised by his own desperation.

She turned up her nose, said, “No.”

“Dammit, woman!Why do you torture me!”

GLaDOS yelled, “Get off!” as she smacked his hands away.“You haven’t given me anything of importance in return.Blueprints for skyscrapers?Journey’s entire discography?How 20th Century of you.Why don’t you hop in your DeLorean and drive home to your laser disc collection.”

“I can’t help Flynn treated me like some kind of CD player!”

His emotions flared and circuits pulsed and GLaDOS absorbed all of it.She was used to being drained - the scientists tried repeatedly to power her down, keep her under control - but never had she been indulged, felt such an intense and invigorating surge of energy.She bit her lip, struggled with giving up control before deciding it unnecessary.A delicate finger reached for CLU, jabbed sharply into the glowing yellow rectangle near his heart.He winced – the concentration of power was too severe – but when the pain subsided the feeling was euphoric.

GLaDOS licked her lips, watched CLU with his eyes shut in ecstasy.Her knee came up, placed strategically against his crotch as she intertwined their legs, bucking her hips to rub against his thigh. CLU snapped awake but didn’t question it, only felt desire. He grabbed clumsily at her breast, smeared smashed cake over her suit, and GLaDOS prepared another mocking comment but it was quickly forgotten.

Her entire hand ran down the strip of circuits on the man’s chest, lighting them up like purple flame.CLU held back a moan because he needed it, needed more, had to have that extra spark from GLaDOS to bring him over.

He buried his head in the crook of her neck, bit around an exposed circuit as his tongue massaged and wet it.GLaDOS managed, “I’ve experienced better stimulation from bug zappers,” before her back arched and she gave in completely.Her system overloaded and took CLU with it, shook them with the frenzy of their combined energies.The intensity left their bodies tense, hands digging painfully into each other’s flesh.

GLaDOS pushed away first, disrupted their link and cut CLU off from whatever he was transferring.The other Program fell backwards with an undignified _oof_ , too dazed to strike back.

The woman stood, swiped at the frosting on her chest and flicked her leg in an attempt to throw the cake from her boot.A disgruntled sigh escaped when it became obvious she was stuck looking gross and disheveled.GLaDOS spat, “Don’t follow me. I think you’ve done enough,” at CLU, who sat with legs tucked underneath him, recovering.She went on her way, kicking what was left of the Companion Cube so it toppled over and met its fate as pixilated sand.

As soon as he regained his senses, CLU flipped through his database with nervous excitement.The information on the portal gun and military androids had been lost, but those things were small time – they were child’s play.CLU stole what he really wanted:the recipe for chocolate cake.


End file.
